tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-67140395178696791182024-03-13T11:58:54.462-07:00Slightly Off Centercysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-34978555849199454402013-06-07T13:04:00.001-07:002013-06-07T14:23:24.716-07:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #0c343d; font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><em>Part VI ........ Continued</em></span><br />
<br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;"></span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span><br />cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-43463582366859165982013-06-02T00:10:00.001-07:002013-06-07T14:22:59.649-07:00The Long Nap - Part V<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: large;">PART V .... Continued</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;">I followed Gunter back down the hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we reached the foyer, there leaning against the same arched doorway that Wendy stumbled through was Lucile, her hands behind her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> She was in a long silk dressing gown. </span></span><span style="color: #003366;">I was holding my hat at my waist again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked at it and raised her eyebrows.<o:p></o:p></span><span style="color: #003366;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Nice hat.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">Gunter turned toward her. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Oh, Miss Lucile, I was just showing Mr.
Merlot the door.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I’m sure Mr. Merlot has seen a door before, Gunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need a few words.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">Gunter bowed slightly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Yes,
Ms. Lucile.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Mr. Merlot if you would just follow me.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I grunted <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Do I have a choice?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned looked at my hat
again and asked, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Did you want one?” </i>then
started walking.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I scratched my head and laughed
a little. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I guess I don’t.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">Lucile took me by surprise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had to take a second look when Gunter
addressed her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had seen pictures of
her and Wendy in the society section of the Times, but she looked different –
about 100 pounds different.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I followed Lucile into a long
room with high ceilings and tall windows and curtains that looked like the kind
of stuff they line coffins with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A white
divan was at one end, and a big bed on a dais at the other.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The wallpaper was silk.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were bookcases and a small bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a big glass amphora of Chanel on a
dresser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The room stank of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was an uptown expensive kind of ‘cheap’
to the place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She went over to the bar
took out some ice from a bucket, dropped a few cubes into a glass, poured
herself some bourbon and added a shot of soda.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She put the glass down on the bar and looked at her reflection in the
mirror behind it and combed her hands through her hair a few times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I wanted
to talk with you Mr. Merlot if you don’t mind.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"> <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Suppose I do?”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Do what?” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was oblivious.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I laughed and shook my head and
said in a low voice <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Never mind.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She was still facing the mirror
combing her hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I saw her look up.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><em><span style="color: #003366;">“Tell, Mr. Merlot, do you
usually talk to yourself?”</span></em><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I leaned forward a little. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Frequently.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
meet a better class of people that way.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“No
doubt, something you learned in detective school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You did go to school didn’t you?” </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I was getting Ritzed, but I
didn’t mind. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Top of my class.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned back to the mirror
and took out a cigarette from a silver case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She caught me staring at her reflection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She had a look on her face that seemed to not mind being stared at. We
made eye contact then she turned directly to me and leaned against the bar
resting on her arms.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She gave me a look
between a smile and a scowl. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Are you sizing me up, Mr. Merlot?”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I looked down at my hat then up
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Forgive my manners it’s just that I’ve seen pictures of you before and
well, you look different.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“If it was that dreadful photo the Times ran at last
year’s sailing regatta I can understand.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;">She
arched her upper body back like a cat in heat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She looked me up and down like Wendy, except with a little more class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She lowered her head then raised it again and
asked:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“So, do you like what you see … now?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Everything look ship shape?</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><em><span style="color: #003366;">“You look pretty tight.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'd guess you'd be quick enough under a full
sheet.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></em><em><span style="color: #003366; font-style: normal; mso-bidi-font-style: italic;">Or a twin
for that matter.</span></em><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She smiled <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Oh, you have no idea. Mr. Merlot.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She took a gulp of her drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“So
you’re a private dick.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I thought we weren’t going to talk about my hat.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She looked down <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“We’re not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I already <u>saw</u> your hat in the foyer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s nice but it’s no Borsolino.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“So I understand.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Well then, what <u>do</u> you want to talk to me about?” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She held out her cigarette.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If she was waiting for me to light it for her
she was going to have a long wait.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
wasn’t willing to be her lap boy, at least not they way <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">she</i> was thinking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a
minute or so she turned back to the bar picked up a lighter and lit her smoke
herself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She drew in, threw her head
back and puffed out a cloud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She picked
up her drink and made a circular motion. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“This business of Daddy’s…Can you handle it?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">Handle the General’s
business?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that was Gunter’s
job, but I wasn’t going there.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“We talked.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
don’t think it’s all that hard.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"> I
replied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“And by the way, he offered me a drink.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She ignored me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I just don’t want to see Daddy taken
advantage of, that’s all.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Neither do I.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
like the old gent, but in case you’re forgetting he called <u>me</u>.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned in a huff.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">I’m aware of that, Mr. Merlot!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is the very point of this
conversation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why are you being so
difficult?”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I did my best to fake sincerity.
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sorry, I wasn’t aware I was being
difficult.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned back again. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">You know my family is very rich. Daddy made
his money with the trains.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“So I hear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
should have spent more time at Union Station.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He would have learned something.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She squinted a little. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Whatever do you mean?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“<u>They</u> always pull out on time.” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I said. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>”And about that drink?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She got caught off guard. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Look here Merlot, I don’t need a
comedian.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And this isn’t the fountain at
Woolworth’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not the counter girl.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Get your own damn drink!”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I tossed my hat on the bar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“No, thanks.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She did a double take. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What the hell?”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I have to admit I liked the way
she sparked and I was willing to bet with the right kindling she could start a
fire. I also was willing to bet that she had jerked more than a couple
sodas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She tried to shift
strategies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She pushed her chest out a
little and spoke and in a more demure tone:<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“There’s no need to play cat and mouse, Mr. Merlot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not going to eat you.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I thought to myself <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I bet Wendy would!”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I just don’t want to see him hurt, that’s all.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She lowered her big brown eyes.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “Is this business of Daddy’s some kind of
state secret?” </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“No, just business between me and him” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I said.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She pulled back and looked at
me, hard then snuffed her cigarette into an ashtray. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You’re not going to tell me a damn thing? Are you?” </i>She was
getting annoyed again. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I shook my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Nope,
and those Maybelline lashes aren’t going to help you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course you can always try Gunter, but I
hear he’s only into Hessians and visa versa.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“If you’re insinuating that I’m trying to seduce you,
don’t flatter yourself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not in that
kind of business.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I thought <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Too bad. I had 10 bucks and she smelled good.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Besides, we were talking about my <u>father’s</u>
business.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>was starting again, but I cut her off.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“And
it’s <u>still</u> your father’s business and <u>still</u> between me and him.” </i>I
was forceful, but tried to be polite like.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She turned to the bar and then
spun back toward me with a look in her eyes that seemed to say “Aunt Flo was
packing her bags, on her way and I had better watch out.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She slammed down her drink splashing the
liquid onto the bar. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>”Are you usually so insolent?” </i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I am!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s one of
my better traits.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It comes in handy in
my trade.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I pulled myself up to the bar. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She turned toward me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked her right in her beautiful pouting
face which was going through several shades of red at the moment.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Look sister, I don’t mind you flashing your gamms and
beeping your honkers like that neon sign at the Bug-In-The- Rug’
burlesque.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t care if the only
vitamins you get are in the olives at the bottom of a martini glass, or if
you’re colder than ice in that drink.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
doesn’t bother me if you don’t like my hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I don’t like it myself some times, but save your self the trouble and
don’t try to grill me some piece of meat!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She looked at me with the
General’s intense stare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who do you think you’re talking to?”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I stepped back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That’s
whom.”</i> I teased. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“See I <u>did</u> go
to school.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I caught her off guard
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She finally relaxed a little and
gave up a quiet laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I watched her as
she walked over to the divan and sat stretching her legs out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I tried not to look at the sheerness of the
silk that was clinging to her legs and bust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Wendy may sizzle, but Lucile looked like she could make a man come to a
slow boil in his own sweat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She cradled
her drink and looked up at me. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“You amuse me Merlot.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“That’s not the best thing to say to a man in your
bedroom.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She laughed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Like I said, you amuse me.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She took her drink and walked over to the
divan and sat down, stretching out her legs a little. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I’m pleased to be of service.” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I
picked up my hat and started to walk out. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She looked up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You
haven’t been yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are you going to
do next?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span><span style="color: #003366;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I paused and turned. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I like
to get a lay of the land.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">She looked up from her drink. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I bet you would, Merlot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I bet you would.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #003366;">I smiled. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Good day, Ms. Stoner.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: black;">
</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #003366;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black;">
</span></div>
<br />
<em>to be continued.........</em>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-78176123429365119062013-05-29T19:45:00.001-07:002013-06-02T00:11:31.006-07:00The Long Nap Part IV<br />
<br />
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<span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Georgia, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;">Part IV Continued .....</span><br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He looked at me with softer eyes
than before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He opened his hands and
asked: “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Well then what are your qualifications,
sir?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“If you’re asking what kind of experience I have … well,
I worked at the DA’s as an investigator for about 5 years I suppose Barney told
you, that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can still speak Pig Latin
when I have to and I know the penal code, never shake it more than twice - keep
your eyes on your own stream, oh and I know a little something about the law.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He smiled a little then focused
on me and asked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What do you know about <u>me</u>,
Mr. Merlot?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I took a long draw on the brandy
and said: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It all depends.” </i>I took
another sip, almost a swig.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He leaned forward a bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Depends?”</i>
<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;">I looked up from the drink <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Depends on who you believe and what you
want to hear.”</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;">He sat back into the chair. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What do <u>you</u> hear?”</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;">I had to stop for a minute. The
old guy seemed to like me and truthfully I was warming up to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact he was alright.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I figured he could take the truth. <o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“You’re worth more than Roosevelt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You made a bundle with railroads.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You were a brigadier in the war. Afterwards you
lingered in England a little and got hitched to some theater dame. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You have two daughters - one wild and one mild,
kind of a fire and ice thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had a
mother and you had a wife … once, but she disappeared kind of mysterious like.” </span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;"></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #003366;">The General leaned forward a little. </span><br />
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Oh come, come Mr. Merlot, there is need to spare my
feelings and certainly there is no mystery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She ran off plain and simple.”<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I held up my now almost empty
glass and jiggled it a little. He nodded and I leaned forward enough to reach
the cart and refill it<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">. <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Fair enough, General, but no one knows, why or who with <u>and</u> no
one has heard from her since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That’s the
mystery, isn’t it? Unless <u>you</u> know where she is.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He grunted <em>"I certainly do not, or do I want to."</em> He started off
into space. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“That's alright. Finding her isn't the reason you called me anyway. Is it General?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“No. It isn’t.” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">He
jutted a some slips of paper toward me. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Take
a look at these.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I put down my glass and looked
over the papers and then read them .<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span></span> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Easy Edie’s Canyon Casino?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That
Eddie Ryan’s place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve heard of it.
Looks like Wendy likes to play, but not to pay.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you had that fatherly talk
with her about the evils of men?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He shook his head. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“Wendy
<u>is</u> the evil of men, Mr. Merlot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have no illusions as to either of my daughters. They are exactly as they seem.
Lucile is calculating and as warm as an Eskimo pie. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wendy
is wittless and the pie everyone has had a piece of.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She listens only to her own libidinous yearnings and yields to every
whim.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Perhaps her older sister could have some influence.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He shook his head even harder. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Lucile has no more influence than anyone
else. As the older child she looks after Wendy the way one does when housebreaking a puppy. They both have their own finances and if Wendy runs short, Lucile makes up for
it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m certain that had she known about
these she would have taken care of them herself.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p> </o:p></span></i><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><o:p>I fanned the sheath of slips in my hand. </o:p></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Still, you can’t collect on gambling notes, General.”<o:p></o:p></span></i><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Turn one over. Mr. Merlot.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">There on the back was written <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">‘Received from by Felix Ulysses Tew; paid in
full’ </i>with a date.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I picked up the drink again and
took a swig. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Who’s this Felix guy and
why is he so generous?” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“His generosity does not come without a price, Mr.
Merlot. Read on.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">Further on down in a different
somewhat feminine script was penned in violet ink <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“While children will be children I thought you might like to avoid the
embarrassment none the less.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Extortion from the looks of it.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I
scratched my head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“ But who <u>is</u> this Felix guy?” <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“That sir, is what I want you to find out.” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I set down my glass which was
now empty. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Do you want me do anything
about it?<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Just stop it, but quietly.” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Do you care how?” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I
asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Permanently, Mr. Merlot.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I put the slips in my shirt
pocket, grabbed my jacket and got up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
looked around for my hat. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Ok General,
I’ll keep it on the QT.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">He nodded then looked up at me. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Gunter will show you out.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;">I was still looking for my hat
when, Gunter came back into the room. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
asked. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Did you see my hat, Gunter?”<o:p></o:p></i></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">He smiled ever so slightly as he
did that monocle thing again and said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Not
all that closely, sir.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">It was then I noticed it had
fallen under the beverage cart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
noticed too and began to reach.</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I think I can get my hands on that, sir.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><em>“I bet, you can’t” </em>I
said grabbing it as quickly as possible. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I
<u>like</u> anchovies”</i> I mumbled under my breath.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Gunter turned toward the
doors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General kind of cocked his
head. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Good day, Mr. Merlot.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I’ll be in touch, General.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-22580081363679581612013-05-12T11:17:00.002-07:002013-05-27T23:22:03.968-07:00The Long Nap ...continued Part III<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a><o:p><br />
</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"></span></span> <span style="color: #45818e; font-family: Georgia; font-size: large;">Part III Continued ....</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #0b5394;">The Conservatory lay at the end
of a long dim hall.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gunter pushed open
two heavy wooden doors like Moses parting the Red Sea. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A blast of heat and light hit me like a sucker
punch from a 300 pound gorilla. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
were plants and vines everywhere.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The place
looked like it was designed by Better Homes and Jungle. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Turns out that ‘conservatory’ is just a rich
way of saying ‘greenhouse’ like “venereal disease”<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> </i>instead of the “clap.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">There was a shady spot to the
left clear of all the greenery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
General sat there in a wheelchair like FDR minus the cigarette and jaunty
smile.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was bundled up like a squealing
newborn, just not looking that “new.” His eyes followed me into the room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He motioned with is right hand to a rattan
chair which Gunter was already pushing up behind me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I turned to Gunter briefly glancing at that
tube in his coat pocket with a look that said “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I ain’t your date.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
casually pushed the tube out of sight with a very slight smile. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General nodded to Gunter and then cleared
his voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Please, get some refreshments, Gunter?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Gunter started to turn to go,
but not before trying to take my hat. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I held on to it like a tom cat
on his way to the spay and neuter clinic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The more I pulled the more he pulled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was like a tug of war.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">The General called the
armistice. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That’s alright, Gunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mr. Merlot can take care of own his hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now please see to the refreshments.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i>Gunter let go reluctantly with
that faint smile, nodded and then took off like a puppy after a stick,”<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I ran my hand on the inside of
my hat and set it next to me in the big chair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I settled into the cushions like they were a box of Campfire Marshmallows.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked at the General and asked; <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Is he always that efficient.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">The General smiled. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You’ll have to forgive Gunter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It the Hessian in him.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I thought to myself: <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’m not sure what was in him, but I was
pretty sure they weren’t called Hessians.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“I found him at the back lines on the staff of a German
Senior officer during the war.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I blurted out <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Bingo.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I beg your pardon.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Oh nothing, please go on.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">“Well I was so impressed with his abilities to organize and attend
to so many different affairs at once that I offered him a position.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He accepted and has been an invaluable
manservant ever since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I suppose the
Hessian in him is what makes him so efficient. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">After my wife, Reagan, left Gunter started handling my
business at home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not that it’s very
hard any more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still it’s good to have
Gunter around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one gets to the bottom
of things like Gunter.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I shook the pictures that were
starting to form out of my head took out a handkerchief and padded my brow and
the back of my neck.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could not help wondering
who in their right mind builds a glass oven in Los Angeles?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General noticed my mopping the sweat.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Make yourself comfortable, Mr. Merlot. Well, as
comfortable as you can in this humidor. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
may loosen your tie and take off your jacket if you wish.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I slipped off my jacket and
pulled at the knot that was garroting me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Thanks”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I took out a pack of
Chesterfields and offered one to the General who simply shook his head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Please enjoy yourself. Mr. Merlot.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I pulled one out and lit up and
exhale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General sniffed the air like
a hound dog trailing the scent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He closed his eyes for a moment like
remembering an old flame.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It’s a sorry day when one goes from smoking cigars to
being one, Mr. Merlot. The only thing left is turning into the eventual ashes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I trust I didn’t keeping you waiting too long.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“That’s alright, General.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I was entertained.” </i>I smiled then
noticed he pulled back into his chair at my comment.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">He wringed his hands a little,
looked off to the side and then back again at me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I see
you met, Wendy.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I almost said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Most of L.A. has probably ‘met’ Wendy.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>- almost.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was an awkward silence that
rattled like a gutter ball in the tenth frame.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thankfully just then Gunter re-entered the room like a pin reset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wheeled in a cart loaded with various
bottles of booze, a bucket of ice and a bowl full of tiny umbrellas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“What is your poison, Mr. Merlot?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Cheap blondes.”</i> I
quipped as I tossed my hat aside.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p>He grunted. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I’ve shared that poison, sir.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How does a brandy sound for now?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sounds just fine.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Do you wish ice or just as it is?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I wiped some more sweat from my
brow. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Normally straight, but I think
I’ll have the ice today.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p>Gunter dropped in a couple of
ice cubes and started pouring like he was measuring our medicine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General looked at him a bit disapprovingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Oh, do it right, man.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Gunter added more until it
almost came to the brim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He handed it to
me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I picked out the umbrella and
sipped. The General followed the glass
from my hand to my lips with the intensity of a peeping tom.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“My wife liked to warm hers in both her hands rolling it
back and forth.” </i>His gaze went a little
distant.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I thought to myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She wouldn’t be the first woman who liked to
hold her liquor like that.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">Whatever day dream he was having
was a short one. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He shook his head
slightly and grunted again.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“I suppose I should know something about you, sir, though
Bernie Buck had a lot of good things to say.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Bernie’s a good man.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was good boss.” <o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“So good that you left?” </i>he asked.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“My leaving had nothing to do with Bernie as a boss.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I replied.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Something with Mrs. Buck, I hear.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General smiled
knowingly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p>He heard right and now it was my
turn to daydream. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Betty Buck had raven
black hair, dark full cherry red lips and a small high bosom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She was a
tall of gin and tonic, cool and intoxicating.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And me – I was just the willing swizzle
stick.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The memories of cheap rye, sweat
and Bernie’s desk flooded over me for a moment while the words <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Buck me, Betty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Buck me hard”</i> played like a cracked
record in the back of my mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where did
I put that damn hat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General’s voice
brought me back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“Mr. Merlot?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Sorry, I’m not one to kiss and tell, General.”</i> I looked around some more for the hat that the
marshmallow cushions must have swallowed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #0b5394;">“I’m not criticizing, Mr. Merlot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Men are frequently left parched after over-indulging
a taste for women, … or anchovy pizzas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Was it worth it?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">I tried to laugh a little.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"> “You’re safer with the pizza, General.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Besides when’s the last time you got the cla
….<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>er venereal disease <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>from an anchovy?” <o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<span style="color: #0b5394;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #0b5394;">The old man laughed a
little.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“A point well made, Mr. Merlot.” </i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br /></div>
</div>
cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-46633439949698429612013-05-10T08:40:00.002-07:002013-05-10T19:19:11.564-07:00The Long Nap part II (C) Tobe Freddo 2013<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">So a day latter I’m cooling my
heels at the Stoner Fortress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Gunter,
the butler greeted me at the door with all the warmth of an undertaker.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was tall - silver haired - Germanic. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His walk was tight, precise and measured which
maybe explained the tube of Preparation H hanging out of his coat pocket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rumor was that the General got him as
part of the Versailles Treaty after the Great War; his own little settlement
with the Kaiser.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The General also got a
wife, two bratty daughters and the clap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The wife was dead and I didn’t think he wanted to see me about the clap,
so I figured it had to be the daughters. Gunter left me waiting to find
out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I looked around.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The place was filthy with family paintings of
droopy eyed stuck ups with vacant stares. Obviously the General was from a long
line of Stoner’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought it strange
that there were no paintings of his kids any where.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe they missed picture day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Maybe he didn’t want to be reminded of his
mistakes. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One of them though was now
sauntering her way down the stairs with the intermittent flow of a post nasal drip. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<span style="color: #003366;">She was wearing white tennis shorts the way snow
wears a mountain pass. She had legs that seemed to go all the way to her neck
and a pair that looked more like a full house. They were almost bursting out of
her black top like a couple of bulls in a rodeo pen that you couldn’t wait to
ride. It was a good thing I wore a hat which I now held at my waist with
the fingertips of both hands. It came in handy, strategically speaking. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She looked me up one side and down the other,
pulled back a little then stared at my hat. She ran the back of right hand
around the brim. She licked her lips put a finger in her nose, pulled it
out and pointed in my direction and asked in a sultry tone,<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Is that a Borsolino?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Looks more like a bugger” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">I smiled.<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“No, that thing in you hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is that a Borsolino?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I looked down and replied <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It tries to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just call it Waldo.”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">She tossed her head back
laughed. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What are you?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“My mom was French and my old man was a drunkard.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">She laughed some more. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“No silly, I mean what do you do?”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I’m a shamus”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"> I
said.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Your heal people? </span></i><span style="color: #003366;">She
squinted.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“No, no.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An
investigator, a private dick.</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You and
every other man.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She laughed again
and then fell back.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">There was a ‘<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">thunk</i>.’<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>She rubbed the back of her head as she got to her knees pulling on my
belt to steady her self. Her face was planted in my hat as she struggled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just then Gunter walked in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His left eyebrow rose as his right lowered
simultaneously as though he was putting on an imaginary monocle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His gaze met hers momentarily. She raised her
head a bit defiantly then giggled again into my hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She turned to Gunter slowly shaking her head.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“It’s not a Borsolino.”</span></i><span style="color: #003366;"> She said pointing to it.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">Gunter extended an arm to help
her. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“As you say, madam, but then few
are.” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">She backed away from me tripping
a little like she had one too many martinis, which I’m sure she had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She ran her left hand through her hair then
let it fall to that chasm between her bosoms keeping her gaze all the while on
my hat, which was now <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>really</u></i>
coming in handy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She licked her lips
again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;"></span></i><br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“You know, I got a box for that hat. It might be a tight
squeeze, but I bet I could get it to fit.” </span></i><span style="color: #003366;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I laughed a little. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I bet you could, but thanks just the same.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">Gunter for his part was trying
to look nonchalant and detached, but his presence was clearly putting a chill
in the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She picked up the drop in
temperature.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An index finger went into
the nose again for a moment. She stepped back. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I’m just saying if you want to keep that hat in good
shape every now and then it has to spend some time in a box” <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></i><span style="color: #003366;">She put
the index finger in her mouth and licked it. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Mmm. Salty - like me.” </i>She giggled again, turned and ambled out of
the room like a new foal out of a barn.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #003366;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: #003366;">I kept holding onto my hat, still
fidgeting the brim.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I nodded in the
direction of the arched doorway she passed through and asked.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“Is she house broken?”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">Gunter turned to the doorway
glancing at her departing figure, the back at me.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: #003366;">“I really can’t say, sir.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You’ll have to excuse Ms. Wendy. She’s high spirited.”<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I cocked my head. <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Yeah, well I have whatever spirits she’s
drinking.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">Gunter cleared his throat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Indeed,
sir.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now if you and your ... hat will follow
me, the General will see you in the conservatory.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: #003366;">I followed, making a note that
Gunter seemed to be paying a little too much attention to my hat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hmm, maybe <u><em>that</em></u> explained the Preparation H.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div>
cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-16539618318505253952013-05-09T18:33:00.000-07:002013-05-10T19:22:13.195-07:00The Long Nap or Film Noir - Re-Noir'd (c) 2013 Tobe Freddo<a href="https://www.blogger.com/" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a>It's been a while since I posted anything, but after Tobe re-read Raymond Chandler's "The Big Sleep," he was inspired to write some "hardboiled detective" copy of his own. How much of the parody he will complete is anyone's guess. For now however, WELCOME TO<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIr2SCXaLZfmib20CunUXAk5XYhAugr34yYksxWWD33_MhtGL9jiKOb3ebUhDmft3iCXjo796Bu6n2qnliwiU5btV6RPNqAWx7Y77G_yJo1AX8V3YY_JZy4bQ6O_w8H7Soa5gR4AuDj-c6/s1600/The+Long+Nap+.jpg" height="206" width="320" /></a></div>
<span id="goog_1349270316"></span><span id="goog_1349270317"></span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><br />
</span><div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #003366; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">By Fillitup
Merlot.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #003366; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">Waking
up in a strange city to a foggy morning is one of those things you smell before
you see. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It hits you in the kisser
like a pair of panties that a girl you picked up at some dive the night before
would leave on your face the next morning while you were still sleeping so
you wouldn't see her rifling through the wallet you left on the chest of
drawers. Yeah you wake up a little wiser, a lot more broke and with a
salty caramel taste in your mouth … and a smile. You got
played. She’s gone alright, but you tell yourself, “One thing for sure, I'm
keeping the panties!" <o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><span style="color: #003366; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"> </span><span style="color: #003366; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">A note
on the chest of drawers catches your eye.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It has her cheap perfume scent.
You're intrigued. You didn't know she could write. You read her scrawl. You
noticed she misspelled ‘penicillin’, then you wonder what she meant by "<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Thanks for every <u>little</u> thing....</i>"
You shrug it off, walk over to the window and push it open and let the grey
roll in, stench and all. You start to think; yeah Fog City is a lot like
Lucile - thick and close to the ground.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lucile on the other hand was nothing like her younger sister, Wendy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #003366; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;">For
being sisters, the only thing they had in common was that visit from “Aunt Flo”
every month. Wendy tried not be home when she came, but she did anyway, an
unwanted houseguest who like the proverbial fish began to stink after the third
day, oddly enough like a fish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Still
Wendy was not without her charms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
had that kind of looks and voice that made men write checks that would bounce
higher than a $10 trick with a new mattress. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her Rita Hayworth legs, Veronica Lake hair and
Betty Davis eyes made her a walking movie poster with “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Coming Soon</i>” written all over.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>No doubt about it, Wendy knew what she had even if she couldn’t
pronounce it and whatever it was it burned <u>and</u> it’s what was always
getting her in Dutch with her old man, General Stoner.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>It was the General that now had
me waiting in his foyer. He had called my old boss, Bernie from the D.A.’s
office and said he had <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“something to show
me and he wanted me to jump on it right away.”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>I told Bernie that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“I don’t swing that way”<o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i>Bernie said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It’s
business.” <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i>I said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Not even
for money.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>Bernie said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“It involves a girl.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>Hmm that got my attention.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I asked Bernie <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“A three way?”</i> <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>Bernie said, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“No, the girl is dead.”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>I asked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Dead, dead or is she just English?”</i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p>Bernie said <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Both!” <o:p></o:p></i></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><o:p> </o:p></i>Now he really had my motor
running, but before I could ask anything more Bernie said <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><o:p> </o:p><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Just get down here, Merlot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old man wants to see you at Stoner Manner
on Westwood off Wilshire, next Monday at one in the afternoon.” </i>Bernie barked <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“You
got that, Merlot?” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><o:p> </o:p></span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">I barked back. “<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Yeah, Stoner Manner, off Wilshire.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></i>I started to hang up the phone, but not
before I heard Bernie add:</span><br />
<span style="color: #134f5c;"></span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="color: black; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;"><span style="color: #134f5c;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“And bring your own papers.”</i><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
</div>
<span style="color: #134f5c; mso-bidi-font-size: 10.0pt;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<em>To be continued.......</em><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
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cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-28172093198734940432012-07-19T00:29:00.000-07:002012-07-19T00:35:44.577-07:00Tobe In The Land of the Twits<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>obe In The <span style="font-size: x-large;">L</span>and of the <span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>wits</div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>obe’s a hedgehog who’s loyal and
true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loves little children as all
hedgehogs do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So to no one’s surprise and
very little guessing he went off with Joseph to do CPS’ing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
The first house they went to was
really a mess with vermin and roaches and things all upset.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The cupboards were empty with nothing to cook,
and the stove was all greasy and covered in soot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rats in the bath gave a terrible spook and
the toilet so filthy you feared you would puke.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But the bedroom, - the bedroom was all shot to pieces with garbage, soiled
diapers and animal feces. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span>And there in a
crib, against a far wall, Tobe heard a sweet voice so soft and so small that he
winced just a little before he could look to see a new infant amidst all the
gook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He turned to the mom and he yelled
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“What the hell? Does the word child
neglect ring some kind a bell?” </i><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She
just shrugged her shoulders annoyed by the fuss, but the pipe Tobe found said
more than enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p>Without hesitation or any delay
Joseph phoned for the police who came right away. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They drove up in cop cars, the ones they call “cruisers”
with a big German Shepherd, who I think they called “Bruiser.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They hooked up the mother and read her a
verse and then they drove her away while she continued to curse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<o:p> </o:p>Tobe looked at the child with no
sense of joy not certain if the tot was a girl or a boy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The name on the paper gave not a clue as it
seemed to be written in a tongue no one knew. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No matter however, a placement was found in a
nice foster home that was safe and was sound.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Then it was back to the office to write the report and file a petition
to send off<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to court, to explain to the
judge the dangers of drugs and the who’s its and what’s its of babies and bugs.</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
While Joseph set forth to recap the
mess, Tobe searched all about for a quiet place to rest. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
There among the forms, the
computers and logs, in between the memos and bureaucratic cogs, he found a
little niche in which he could sit and think about the children whose lives
turned to shit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The longer he thought
and the more that he sat the sadder he felt for the lives that got shat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wondered and pondered as he furrowed his brow
the why’s and the where’s and the who’s and the how’s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“Abuse”</i>
he told Joseph <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“is a terrible thing - and
neglect – just as bad as a bell that won’t ring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But how does this happen that children get tricked
by mothers and fathers that no one would pick?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How do they get here – by what roads and what passes and how can they
breathe with their heads up their asses? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Where do they come from – how do they live and
why do they keep their brains in a sieve? “</i> </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
He was flummoxed and flustered as
he looked for a clue that could give him a hint why they do what they do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then he thought once again as he sat and he
sat, just what kind of hole they might habitat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Is there some curse-ed place, some circle in hell where child abuser
might secretly dwell?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it dark? Is it
dank?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does it stink like a skunk? He
thought and he thought ‘til he thought all he thunk. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Then there among the bruises and
bones that were broken, the concept of parents that were only a token - nestled
betwixt the cracks where they fell with the strangest of names that no one
could spell, an answer was lurking quiet as mouse but as big as an elephant or
maybe a house. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There it sat staring him
right in the face, glaring and leering, but holding its place.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Its form was disfigured, its mind was a
blank, its gaze soporific its odor quite rank.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>With a grin that was toothless and form large and fat it hobbled right
over to where Tobe sat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It extended a
hand and in a pigeon like coo said:</div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">“How
do you do? My friends call me Stu . Stu Pidity of course if more formal is due.
<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I
thrive on the policies that just never work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I count on the fact that there is
always a jerk who likes to hang out where unicorns lurk,who thinks that
psychology is only for nerds and the worst of abuse needs only kind words and
that all children can heal with a hope and a prayer and some positive thoughts
to chase away scares.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></i></div>
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 150%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">
</span></i>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ideology you see, no matter how baseless, is
ever so easy when children are faceless, and wishful thinking is all that it
takes to over look the more predictable fate of all those kept <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>waiting at logic’s locked gate. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Knowledge I find is a dangerous thing and the
more that there is the more that it stings. I don’t want to think I just want
to feel and ignorance you see is the perfect ideal to hide or diguise what’s
there and and what’s real.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want to be
liked, to be family friendly – even if things should end up – well deadly. It’s
the thought that really counts -<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>the
kind hearted words - and never at all any behaviors observed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Who cares if their brains are working or
busted and if drugs fried minds can no longer be trusted. With a hope and a smile
and a quiet little prayer child welfare can go where reason not dare.”<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
Having spoken his piece no matter
how flawed, Stu seemed now content and finally took pause.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tobe puzzled as he wondered what Rogerian
lathe could milled out a piece of so thin a gage that could so mismeassure both
science and fact in favor of warm fuzzies and pats on the back. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He did not know what to say or what things to to
do, or what words or what points mights get thru to Stu, so he just turned and
sighed, resigned there to sit and do the best he could in the land of the
twits. </div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">
<br /></div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-55618692056238839012011-07-31T09:32:00.000-07:002011-07-31T20:14:11.074-07:00Gimme Gimme Gimme!<img height="276" id="il_fi" src="http://accidentalmommies.com/wp-content/uploads/Roman-slave-rebellion-300x276.jpg" style="padding-bottom: 8px; padding-right: 8px; padding-top: 8px;" width="300" /><br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;">I'm coming for <em><strong>you</strong></em>, Rome ..... and your little wolf too!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: #674ea7;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I came across someone the other day asking for “reparations” for slavery.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now there is no doubt that slavery is wrong, insidious and reprehensible no matter where or when it occurs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since it is now and has always been inherently wrong, there is no reason to believe that is more reprehensible in one historical era than another. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, the argument made by some individuals today that there should be an award for damages or “reparations” for the past wrongs done their ancestors may have merit for us all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I say this since virtually every ethnicity on this planet has been at some point someone’s slave. </span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As a full blooded Sicilian I can claim ancestry to the peoples of Carthage (Northern Coast of Africa), Greece, Phoenicia and God only knows where else.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The owners of my ancestors were most likely Roman, though force servitude also existed under the English, Spanish and French as everyone had their fingers in the Sicilian pie.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This having been said allow me to make my demands now for “reparations.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They are simple and fair,.</span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><o:p> </o:p>From the Romans, I should like a Villa near San Gimignano with full free board and spa privileges at Saturnia. </span></span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><o:p> </o:p>From the French, I am requesting an apartment at least 750 Sq. Meters in size in the Latin Quarter or Montmartre.</span></span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From the Spanish, I’ll be asking for tapas, lots of tapas whenever I want them.</span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">From the English, well, I just want them to go away, but leave Shakespeare and Monty Python.</span></div><span style="color: #674ea7; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> </span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><span style="color: #674ea7;"><o:p> </o:p>OK, so there are my demands on behalf of my ancestors who suffered under the yoke of slavery at the hands of foreigners who usurped their rights and assaulted their humanity. Tobe will be handling the details, so come on Rome, France, Spain and England – get with it – chop – chop!</span></span></div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-51100058260427983382011-07-24T14:36:00.000-07:002011-07-24T14:43:16.462-07:00R I P VELMA<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamfMdBKLwI8qXACgf9HNQMscxlEepP-2KBWHHUurj1cZ_JZMhA5Gcx5wp6DVtBLKJSnI00ke2VyoFEfQE0ZYe8OK9xaEbtEIfP1qM0Cn2HECcGF_PKsBZmAdvM2wyIOJlBxWdfBUPqqhE/s1600/T+n+T+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamfMdBKLwI8qXACgf9HNQMscxlEepP-2KBWHHUurj1cZ_JZMhA5Gcx5wp6DVtBLKJSnI00ke2VyoFEfQE0ZYe8OK9xaEbtEIfP1qM0Cn2HECcGF_PKsBZmAdvM2wyIOJlBxWdfBUPqqhE/s200/T+n+T+2.jpg" width="200" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Timmy & Tobe</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfso74P8vjI1pz3zLLLabRpnfXTfF49PRK1BkK3pV1nQjqSfokRf1yHh9kdIkcGF7qD0n4DcWsn9bIqSjod6sMiJNMCNTGZ-JgQQeiUWwHujOxwp0Hw5dS2UGr33OlnG3k4Z1mYTlkhu1/s1600/Bambi%2527s+Mom.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhzfso74P8vjI1pz3zLLLabRpnfXTfF49PRK1BkK3pV1nQjqSfokRf1yHh9kdIkcGF7qD0n4DcWsn9bIqSjod6sMiJNMCNTGZ-JgQQeiUWwHujOxwp0Hw5dS2UGr33OlnG3k4Z1mYTlkhu1/s200/Bambi%2527s+Mom.png" width="186" /></a> <span style="color: darkmagenta; font-family: Verdana; mso-bidi-font-family: Arial;">Tobe is sad to report that Velma Fawnskin who portrayed Bumbi's mother in "Man In My Forest", "Eat My Venison", and "Buck Me Like You Mean It" was found dead today in the southwest corner of his backyard in El Cerrito. A Rottweiler and his or her pup was seen near the carcas. It is unknown if the canines were actually responsible for her death of if she was the victim of other possible natural ailments. She was reportedly in consideration for a remake of the classic "A Fence Too High." Tobe was heard to comment: "Velma's loss will be felt, though the stench of her rotting, bloated, insect ridden corpse will linger for several more days." :(</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-50346889734247892912011-07-06T20:02:00.000-07:002011-07-07T16:17:06.774-07:00TOBE GOES ON A CFS INVESTIGATIONFor Father’s Day I received a delightful gift of a little stuffed hedgehog named Tobe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My daughter has a similar one named Timmy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> (See picture below.) </span>Tobe is his brother and came with excellent references. In keeping with our anthropomorphizing, Tobe and Timmy are as far as we are concerned REAL with personalities and the whole nine yards. Never mind that <em><u>you</u></em> can’t understand them’ my daughter and I do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anyway since animals stuffed and otherwise are a great way to get kids to open up I decided to take Tobe with me on an investigation. <br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;">Tobe wasn’t too certain about cruising the less fashionable parts of Richmond, but he doesn’t like seeing kids abused or neglected so he figured he’d do his part. This was a REAL face to face contact with a 5 year old boy. It was a general neglect complaint alleging that the house was filthy and uninhabitable. I saw the kid at the Y. Mom was at her sister's house since the city Red Tagged her house. (Spew.)</div><br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hi. My name is *** and I’m from Children’s Services, but don’t worry </div><div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;"> you’re not going any where and no one is in trouble. We're just going to talk.</div><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What’s that? (Pointing to Tobe.)<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This is my friend. His name is Tobe.<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is he a rat?<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No. He’s a hedgehog.<br />
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Is they rats?<br />
<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well only the ones named Walter! (Ha, ha, ha.)</div><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He look like a rat!<br />
<br />
Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well he’s NOT a rat. Are you Tobe?<br />
<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We gots rats but they gots tails. Your rat ain’t got no tail.</div><br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>That’s because he’s a hedgehog and NOT a rat.</div><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We gots roaches too! My momma say it not her fault. It the landlord fault.<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> The</span> rats they eats the roaches. Your rat eats the roaches.</div><br />
Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We don’t have any roaches and Tobe is NOT a Rat. (aside) Feel free to jump<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>in any time Tobe. <br />
<br />
Tobe:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>(<em>Just smiles</em>)<br />
<br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Dem rats eats my momma’s weed and she got heckapissed and started <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>hitting Deshaun with da strap ‘cause she think he do it. But I told her it was dem <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>rats ‘cause I saw dem eating that big bag she gots in the closet. Your rat eats the <br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>weed?<br />
<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Look HE’s NOT a FFFFrrrrrrr rat. For the last time Tobe is a hedgehog!</div><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Hedge <u><strong>Hog</strong></u>? He don’t look like no pig. He look like a rat!<br />
<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Never mind the pig ....... the rat..... never mind Tobe! Who’s Deshaun?</div><br />
Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>He my dog.<br />
<br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Does he have a tail?</div><br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Kid:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah he have a tail.</div><br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;">Me:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You <em>sure</em> he ain’t no rat?</div><br />
<div style="tab-stops: 41.4pt;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></div>I think Tobe and I made our point! Who da hedgehog?<br />
<br />
Below are Timmy (on the left) and Tobe Fredo on the right.<br />
<br />
Tobe is Fredo the light and Timmy is Fredo the dark.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxbqq2hQWUJI3lranC5-j0pC1MmetOLW4DELZ7JrXtDojZKLu8Tmt8iGu-j56GrBTA_CcrkW8NXvkFCTNchz-trZO31mOXzATJy-Z3ZCIqRETtZMWnIeuKdQ34Q5qHfcDxHxtoP343W7FN/s1600/T+n+T+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxbqq2hQWUJI3lranC5-j0pC1MmetOLW4DELZ7JrXtDojZKLu8Tmt8iGu-j56GrBTA_CcrkW8NXvkFCTNchz-trZO31mOXzATJy-Z3ZCIqRETtZMWnIeuKdQ34Q5qHfcDxHxtoP343W7FN/s320/T+n+T+2.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-86155377764324022932011-07-03T08:53:00.000-07:002011-07-03T09:06:25.701-07:00Walter on the Lamb!<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><span style="font-family: Times, "Times New Roman", serif; font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Times New Roman; font-size: small;"><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">When my child was very small her mother and I took to anthropomorphizing all of her stuffed animals. They had names. They had back stories. They had lives. So it was no surprise that when I acquired a stuffed hedgehog he also came with a name, a back story and a life. What I did not realize was that he also had history. Had I known that, perhaps I would not have made him a roommate. At the least I would have done a background check. Well I didn’t and here’s what follows. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;">Walter.... excuse me Kunta Kinka III (Turns out Walter was his slave name) is on the lamb. Oakland PD was looking for him shortly after he was seen on video selling Ganja at the Mac Arthur Bart stop. I kind of let him have his own space lately. I thought he was just having a personal crisis so I didn't put 2 and 2 together and when he told me that the 12 packs of Zigzags were really hedgehog toilet paper I didn't question it. Maybe I should have. He seemed to be coming and going a lot and trying to find himself. He was frustrated at not being able to braid his quills into dreadlocks. His Rastafarian thing was OK for a while even if he did sound like Miss Cleo, but then he got on his 'Hedge Hog Power' trip and started asking for reparations, section 8 and a civil servant position with the Feds. I kept telling him he wasn't qualified for most of the positions he wanted and he said "200 years of working for the man” qualified him and I could “no longer oppress him." I asked him "Well what about the Indians? They were here first and they are oppressed shouldn't we give any Fed jobs to THEM FIRST?" He said <i>his </i>people were not here when <i>they</i> were being oppressed. I said "Exactly!" I pointed out <i>our</i> people were not here when <i>his</i> people were getting oppressed, but he wouldn't hear it. He stormed out close fist (paw?) with his little fore arm extended (which was really kind of a challenge I mean to walk on only 3 legs) singing "We Shall Overcome." When the cops came by they said that Walter, sorry, Kunta actually was suspected in other crimes, He was seen on 14'th and Mac Arthur pimping out underage hamsters. He was using an alias of Walter X for a while. I wonder about all the other Walters out there. Walters, Walters everywhere and not a one can think! Maybe Walter will show up and change his life. Maybe he'll take responsibility for his action since that is the only real power we have. Maybe he'll stop trying to live on the sacrifices of others and make some of his own. Maybe he'll honor those that came before him by using all that God has given him to the best of his ability. Maybe he'll realize we are only special when do special things for the benefit of others. Maybe he'll realize this, maybe not. We'll hope for the best, but I just can't help feeling that I'll soon be looking out the window across the bay at Walter's new home at "Hotel Saint Q." I'll keep you informed.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: 18pt; line-height: 150%;"><o:p></o:p></span></div></span></span></span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"></span><br />
<span style="color: black; font-family: Arial;"><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0pt;"></div></span><div style="line-height: 150%; margin-bottom: 0pt;"></div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-60404475645014558062011-06-06T19:28:00.000-07:002011-06-07T17:13:47.316-07:00So Help Me God<span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;">What is human secularism?</span></span> </span></span><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: black;"><span style="color: #351c75;">Well simply to borrow form Wikipedia</span> ..........(</span><span style="color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; line-height: 200%;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_humanism" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; line-height: 200%;">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secular_humanism</span></a>) </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: black;"> </span></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: #351c75;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: #351c75;"></span></span><br />
<span style="color: #351c75;"><span style="color: #351c75;"><div style="line-height: 150%;"><span style="color: #351c75;">It is a secular philosophy that </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #351c75; mso-ansi-language: EN;">rejects religious dogma, supernaturalism, pseudoscience or superstition as the basis of morality and decision-making. It posits that human beings are capable of being ethical and moral without religion or God, it neither assumes humans to be <i>inherently </i>or <i>innately</i> good, nor presents humans as "above nature" or superior to it. Like communism a<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">nything </i>that smacks of making us responsible to</span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #351c75; mso-ansi-language: EN;">ourselves or one another for any reason not related to subservience and obeisance to the bible or God of established religions meets with great disdain and ridicule. That having been said it should be of no surprise that when an individual was asked some time ago in a court room to swear to tell the truth “So help you God” and that person refused the bible or the oath as stated, great consternation arose. The individual a secular humanist felt his word should be good enough on its own. Naturally someone in the fundamentalist Christian camp was offended and</span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><span lang="EN" style="color: #351c75; mso-ansi-language: EN;">raised great criticism without any foundation other than they exclusion of God. A survey soon went out to question as to whether or not the statement “so help me God” with or without a bible present should be compelled. The question was asked if the respondent agreed or disagreed with the critic’s stance that it <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should </i>be compelled. While I do believe in God I am none-the less a secular humanist and do not agree in compelling anyone to take an oath “so help them God.” Here was my response.</span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div><span style="color: black;"> </span><o:p><span style="color: black;"> </span></o:p><br />
<span style="color: black;"> </span><br />
<div style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #351c75; mso-ansi-language: EN;">God made us with certain abilities including intellect. There are certain things as humans which are innate to us and certainly a basic value of life and ethics is one of them. If you have to mouth the words “So help me God” then God help you. If you have to run to scripture to figure out that stealing or lying is wrong then God help you. If you have to be reminded that God is watching you so you don’t kill someone or worse kill someone in God’s name, then God help you. If you can not intuit that there is a basic human dignity and worth regardless of a person’s sex, creed, ethnicity or orientation then you are BEYOND redemption and then truly only God CAN help you</span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;">. </span><o:p></o:p></div><span style="color: black;"> <u1:p></u1:p> </span><br />
<div style="line-height: 150%;"><span lang="EN" style="color: #351c75; mso-ansi-language: EN;">In a world where Jerry Falwell and people like him say Catholics including Mother Teresa are not Christian, where the Vatican allows someone like Cardinal Law to say mass in such a public forum as a Pope’s Funeral, where fanatics distort the beauty of the Koran, then God help us all. The lesson we so completely forget is that God expects up to help ourselves! God expects us to rely upon the intellect and innate dignity and humanity that were placed there when we were created. When we spend less time worrying about God and scripture and more time honoring God by use of these gifts, then the world will start to change. When we can celebrate our God instead of fearing or grieving him, then the world will take a change for the better. There is reason secular humanism has been on the rise and that reason is because God IS trying to help us all.</span><span lang="EN" style="color: black; mso-ansi-language: EN;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div></span></span><span style="color: black;"> <u1:p></u1:p></span>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-26735413671852364402011-05-31T17:31:00.000-07:002011-05-31T17:31:09.351-07:00Charlie Brown Must Die! or Why You Don't WANT to Go Home Again (part 1)<span style="color: black;"><span style="color: black;">If you grew up in the 50's or 60's you most likely read the Peanuts Comic Strip - those little urchins of Charles M. Schulz. There were characters like Lucy who never received the medication her histrionic borderline personality desperately required. There was Linus who thought way too much for a little kid and carried a blanket around because no one else would play with him except on philosophy night. There was Schroeder who could play the piano with incredible skill - mostly classical and jazz, but didn't know a single song by the Doors or the Beatles. There was a dog named Snoopy who seemed to never chase cars like other dogs and incredibly never went to the bathroom. (Rumor has it that Charles Schulz once told someone that 'You'll see the Russians land on the moon before you see Snoopy wiz on a fire hydrant!') Then there was Charlie Brown, the little kid with the round head and no hair that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">I am sorry</i>, looked worse than some kids after chemo! I guess if Charlie Brown were my patient I'd diagnose him schizo-affective. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: black;">Charlie Brown never really related well to any of his peers. He was never called just 'Charlie', by anyone - always Charlie Brown. Like German Measles he was announced with as much specific warning as possible. Charlie Brown like Linus also thought way too much. The difference was that he could not or did not articulate his thoughts very well. Adding to this was the fact that even his dog seemed to have more fun than he did. I suppose the worst of it however, was that he had a crush on Peppermint Patti -that little tomboy you just knew would someday have gender identity problems and go into women's tennis and get a promotional sponsorship from Doc Martin.<o:p></o:p></span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black;">I think the really sad thing with Peppermint Patti was that Charlie Brown was even less able to articulate his feelings than his thoughts. Added to this was the apparent impossibility of any kind of relationship between him and Patti. Even if she didn't grow up to have an excess of testosterone or hate things with penises, she was still, way out of Charlie Brown’s league. She was active and connected to the world in a way that was age appropriate and in every way he was not. If someone were making a movie about her life, Patti would be the star <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">and </i>the director. In a movie of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">his</i> own life however, Charlie Brown on the other hand would most likely just be an extra. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black;">Incredibly, in the midst of all his emotional angst and anguish we were expected to find humor. What bothered me was not that Charlie Brown was so socially awkward or that he was generally inept in virtually <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">every </i>undertaking. What bothered me was that we were asked, actually expected to accept Charlie Brown's invariable failures as the "cute." As a child I loved Charlie Brown, but as I got older the tragedy of this short, bald, socially challenged child became apparent. Perhaps my life started to look too much like Charlie Brown's or maybe my voice had finally gotten lower and girls stopped being creepy. </span><o:p></o:p></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: black;">Whatever the reason I awoke one day and in a moment of absolute clarity I realized that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Charlie Brown must die! </i></b>Like some enormous, protruding fetid eruption on the forehead of my youth, the naïve, ineffective and puerile philosophy of Charlie Brown had to be wiped clean from my budding adolescence by the Stridex Pad of reality. I began to realize that dogs should not have more fun than people. That Christmas trees that look like nose hair pulled from a barren mountain side are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not </i>acceptable. And lastly, that <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">good</i> psychological advice would certainly cost more than 5 cents. Of course it may still come from a histrionic borderline, but at least it's tax deductible.</span><o:p></o:p></div></span>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-37176246217307677632011-05-25T19:56:00.000-07:002011-05-26T07:54:30.179-07:00When Harry Met JesusSCENE: TSA screening area prior to Heaven's boarding gate. Harry Camping is seated in a small room. Enter Jesus.<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Harry. Thanks for waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lord.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am in heaven?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We’ll get to that, Harry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’ll get to that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Was I snatched up, Lord?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Well, not exactly, Harry. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Did I experience the rapture, Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>No. No you didn’t Harry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You haven’t been getting much fiber lately have you, Harry?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know trying to pass a brick at your age can really tax the old ticker.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>You mean?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Yeah just like Judy Garland… on the crapper. [sings] <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Somewhere over the </i></span><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="color: navy;">Rainbow…..</span></i><span style="color: navy;">Sorry, I just love that song. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I don’t understand, Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: You died like you lived Harry, full of crap.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: But the bible said….<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The bible says a lot of things, Harry – love thy neighbor, do unto others, you </span><span style="color: navy;">know positive things.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: navy;">Harry: But the bible told me the end was coming!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The rapture!<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Look, Harry rapture was never <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><u>my</u> </i>idea – way too flashy. All these people </span><span style="color: navy;">getting sucked right out of their shoes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> I</span> mean what next aliens with anal probes?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span><span style="color: navy;">This whole rapture thing really was just a little too far out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But hey, you know what it’s like when writers get <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">creative</i> and all yeah, like Johnny boy ....</span></div><br />
<span style="color: navy;">Harry: Johnny boy?</span><br />
<br />
<span style="color: navy;">Jesus: SAINT John. He was a free lancer for Hammer House for a while. Any way he </span><span style="color: navy;">was under contract to us, kicking it on Patmos. We knew he was shrooming on the weekends, but he was staying pretty straight for while and writing steady doing okay with the bio-pic stuff. Then one day out of nowhere BAM dragons, colored horses, plagues, seals getting broken bada bing, bada bang – rapture! ......Then Betty Ford for while -Aw Johnny. </span><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: But, Lord -</span><span style="color: navy;"><o:p> the bible said the time was here....</o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: You're just not getting this are you, Harry? Look only the Old Man knows the time and place and believe ME he doesn’t say a </span><span style="color: navy;">word to me or the bird.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;"><o:p> </o:p></span><span style="color: navy;">Harry: Bird?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Holy Ghost, Holy Spirit…Peace Love Dove. Any way, if he won’t tell us why </span><span style="color: navy;">in His name would He tell you? <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: Have I sinned, Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: Hey did BP make big doody in the Gulf?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> But what the heck, it's the American way. Capitalism without restraints of any kind. And you Harry, well y</span>ou’re just an all American business man ... in </span><span style="color: navy;">the God Business, but business none the less.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You churned up $18 mill in less a </span><span style="color: navy;">year! I mean people cashed in their life savings! You are ssssssmoking, my friend!</span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: Then am I… am I going to hell, Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: Not exactly, Harry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Milton likes to keep things hopping and I like to keep Uncle Milti happy - he's a sweet heart really - so I let him rule down there. Any way you’d just be a wet</span><span style="color: navy;"> blanket.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> No, </span>I thought you’d like to spend eternity with other business men and visionaries such as yourself. [Intercom] Pete, send in Jonsey.<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<span style="color: navy;">[Enter a small man with mirrored sun glasses]<o:p></o:p></span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus: Jonsey, meet Harry Camping.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’ll be bunking with you and Savonarola.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Harry, </span><span style="color: navy;">you’ll love the tenth circle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> It's crazy! It's exclusive! </span>It’s like beyond the nineth.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We just had to expand. <o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Harry: Lord?<o:p></o:p></span></div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0pt;"><span style="color: navy;">Jesus:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> D</span>id I mention that Jimmy makes a killer Kool Aid? Hope you like grape. it's the only flavor he's got. Oh and hey when Donny Trump gets there next month don't let his comb over scare you.</span></div><br />
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</div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-438760075022833402011-05-23T20:12:00.000-07:002011-05-27T21:21:55.873-07:00Jurassic No Parking Zone = End of Times Bust<div><span style="color: indigo; font-size: small;">Well the appointed hour came and went and everyone is still here. Personally I was disappointed along with millions of others. Though I was not duped out of any money, I did lay out some milk and cookies for Jesus figuring if it worked for Santa it was worth a shot. </span></div><br />
<div><span style="color: indigo; font-size: small;">I am not too surprised as the fundamentalist Christians have never had their history right, All this talk about the return of Jesus and dinosaurs snatching people up was just ridiculous. First of all if Jesus was coming back he'd do it style like in a Bentley. Never mind all these stupid colored horses crap - a pale horse, a red horse, a palomino. NO! And there certainly would be no need for the raptors that everyone kept going on about. There haven't been any dinosaurs for billions of years so why now? Why would Jesus have a bunch of dino's snatching people up? And then wouldn't the dinos just eat the people they were snatching up? I mean are the raptors getting to heaven? Also what about the vegan dino's? Huh? Weren't some raptors herbaviors? </span></div><br />
<div><span style="color: indigo; font-size: small;">Yeah this whole raptor - second coming thing was just not thought out too well. </span></div><br />
<div><span style="color: indigo; font-size: small;"></span> </div>cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6714039517869679118.post-88206798683910796172011-05-23T20:07:00.000-07:002011-05-27T21:17:58.912-07:00WelcomeSometimes things aren't always as they seem and at times the only logical answer to something is the absurd. Like "Les Incoherents" of Montmartre I find things most interesting when they are "slightly off center." I'll do that from time to time giving a perspective on any number of things like why "Charlie Brown Must Die." Some may be offended, some will take it in stride, some will just shake their heads while laughing inside. Just don't take things too seriously.cysocialhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14826374513594885841noreply@blogger.com0